How Idiots Meet
by StarkidGlasses
Summary: This is the tale of how some teenagers meet, split up, then meet again. This is told by Adam, who thinks that his family is lame and he needs to get away from them. When this thought crosses his mind, it happens. Two guys that are just like him appear, and then they get into some stupid situations. Hence the title. Rated T for language and content.
1. Humble Beginnings

**Hey guys! So this is a little story that I thought of while I was trying to sleep. It's really weird though, because I haven't read any Workaholics fanfics :o well here it is. This is short because I wanted to introduce each chapter in a different chapter. So to all of you Workaholics fans, you're welcome :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Workaholics.**

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Here is a story about how I met these crazy people I call my best friends. It is not a very insightful and amazing story. It's actually quite inappropriate and awkward but it's funny. Well, don't say that I didn't warn you. Oh. I didn't introduce myself. The name's Adam. Adam DeMamp. As known as, Adam the Amp. Or just Adam is fine… awkward. Anyway, this is how I met Blake and Ders. Well. We met officially in college but we had met each other before that. When I was 14 years old, I went on this cruise right?

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There I stood in a bright lobby area. People are swarming the place, trying to find their families and some already at the bar. My family was surrounding the couches in the back of the area, taking pictures. I stood near the elevators, crossing my arms over my family reunion shirt I had on. I was kind of embarrassed to be wearing it. I hated being with my _entire_ family, aunts and uncles included. How I longed for it to only be me and my immediate family. They weren't even with me. They sent me down to Florida with my grandmother. The night before was hell. We stayed at a nice hotel and all, but sharing a room with the woman was hell. She's so neat and while she tried to make conversation with me, I was trying to sleep. I could care less about how things at her workplace were or how much she can eat at once. I caught myself as I noticed that I was grimacing at the floor, and then I looked up as someone called my name. I walked in between people to get to my family who wanted to get a picture with me. I put on this phony smile for the camera, just trying to please them. After I was done, I walked away once more but while dodging people, I bumped into a guy that looked about my age. He had extremely curly hair and it got into my mouth when I collided with him. He was about an inch taller than me, and he was kind of lanky as well. I coughed before apologizing.

"Hey, sorry about that." I said quickly. He nodded as I spoke.

"Nah, man. It's fine, I should've been paying attention." He spoke in a nasally voice that hurt my head automatically.

"No, it was my fault." I tried to convince him but he was being as stubborn as a fucking mule.

"_No_. It was me." He said through his teeth, almost glaring. I was taken off guard, putting my hands up in protest.

"Whoa, sorry." I spoke in a less harsh tone then he followed suit.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm just a little uptight. My hair didn't turn out right this morning and the security people took my condoms away so." He explained to me bluntly.

"Damn, man. That's awful." I frowned, shoving my hands into my pockets.

"Well yeah," he continued. "I wanted to get laid on this trip but looks like if I do, I might get a girl preggers." He spoke in a casual tone, making the conversation less awkward that it seemed to be.

"That would be bad, especially if she doesn't live in the same state as you." I was becoming more and more relaxed as we spoke.

"Yeah, that would be really bad. I'd have a love child in another part of the world. Imagine that. Another one of me running around." He chuckled softly, I followed suit. He was pretty cool. I could tolerate him.

"I don't know," I responded. "It would be awesome to have a mini me or something."

"No, only _thee_ Mini-Me would be awesome."

"Yeah, Verne Troyer is pretty amazing."

"I look up to him, man."

"That's… ironic." We shared a laugh before my little cousin started poking me in the ass repeatedly. I turned around, irritated to say the least, before I realized that my family was leaving without me. I looked back at the guy. He was staring at me, frowning a bit.

"You gotta leave, don't you?" he said in the saddest way ever. It made me frown instantly as I nodded.

"Yeah but I'll see you around, right?" he nodded then I smiled at him. "Great. I guess I'll see you later, then." I turned around to walk towards my family but something stopped me. I turned around again to face him. "What's your name?"

"Blake." He was still standing there, watching me as he answered. I nodded once before responding.

"I'm Adam." He grinned as I spoke.

"I'll see ya around, Adam." He turned around to follow his family then I did the same, only I was hauling ass to catch up with my folks.

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**Leave me reviews and suggestions! :D **

**- Starkid Jade**


	2. Frog and Toad Were Friends

**Hey guys! Here's my second chapter of HIM. I decided not to introduce Anders just yet! He's coming soon though! Thanks for the feedback already! It really made me smile. I guess I'm doing something right. xD**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Workaholics.**

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After we were settled into our cabins, I decided to ditch my family and walk around by myself for a bit. I was dressed up for dinner in my button up shirt and dress slacks so I tried to avoid the pools as I walked about. There were so many staircases everywhere but I explored each one. One staircase led to a basketball court on the top level of the ship. It had a net around it that stood about 25 feet in the air. There were two benches outside of it so I took it upon myself to take a seat to watch the game that was taking place. There were two small teams formed, all boys though. I studied one person playing, noticing that their chest stuck out more than the rest. I tilted my head, trying to figure this out. They played for about ten minutes then they stopped for a water break, I guess. Everyone filed out of the court, each person taking a glance at me. I nodded once to acknowledge them until one person neared me. The way their black, curly hair flipped around their bronze face made my insides feel weird. _Oh my God, that's a chick._ I thought to myself. I could've sworn that she wasn't there before but I noticed that she was dressed similarly to me, ready to go to dinner. She wore a light pink dress that fell just below her knees and it was sleeveless. It was kind of low cut so it exposed just the right amount of cleavage. _Niiice._ She stood before me, smiling softly.

"Hi." Her sweet voiced echoed through my head as I tried to learn how to speak again.

"Uh… oh, hey." I stood up quickly as she giggled. She placed her hands on my shoulders, pushing me back to the bench carefully. I let her push me down then she sat beside me.

"Do you like basketball?" she asked as she scooted toward me, the scent of her perfume filling the air around us.

"Yeah," I nodded as I started to relax a bit into the bench. "I like watching it. I suck at playing it though. I'm more of a baseball person and sports that don't require me to run." We shared a laugh as I flexed my muscles. My body was odd. I had muscles and what not but I lacked cardiovascular endurance. If you asked me to run around a track for about 5 minutes, I would be done within 30 seconds.

"Awww, I used to be the same way. I just had to work on it, ya know?" she replied with a smile.

"Do you play any sports?" I asked curiously as I studied her frame, trying to see any signs of muscular tonnage.

"I used to cheerlead but not I'm taking a break from it and focusing on swimming." her smile practically lit up the night. Her _perfect_ smile. I couldn't help but smile back, not absorbing what she told me at all. My thoughts were racing about in my head. How come this pretty girl was talking to a loser like me? I'm not handsome. I'm not a catch. I'm just a nerd from California who likes playing video games and shit. I'm that guy who actually tries to fit in but never really does. Her laugh shook me out of my trance, thank the Lord. "You have really pretty eyes."

"What?" I wondered aloud just to make sure that I heard her correctly. All she did was laugh at me.

"You heard me." the corners of her narrow, almond shaped eyes crinkled as she smiled at me. I was so damn confused. How can an amazing girl like her think that my eyes were pretty? What was wrong with her?

"Well, uh... Thanks." I chuckled at her a bit then looked down at my watch, noticing what time it was. "I have to meet my family in like, 20 minutes for dinner." she frowned at my words.

"Oh... Will I see you there?" she frowned less now as she looked at my room key that had my name and dinner table on it. She smiled briefly then looked up at me.

"Your dinner table is like right next to mine."

"Is it really?" she nodded then stood up.

"Yeah. I guess I will see you later then." she turned to walk away. I couldn't let this chance at getting some as slip away. I stood up quickly and reached to tap her shoulder. She turned to face me with a questioning look on her face.

"What's your name?" I asked her quickly but quietly.

"Julia. But you can call me Jules." she shined her pearly whites again before she spoke again. "I'll see later, Adam." she walked away swiftly, leaving me speechless. _She knew my name_. I thought to myself. I looked down for a bit then I walked the opposite way into the hotel on water, running downstairs to the dining room.

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I was surprised to see Blake as I waited with my family to file inside of the dining room that was being cleared. We were talking about what kind of food we wanted to eat. Blake wanted pizza. Now that I think about it, I wanted pizza too. We discussed pizza crust sizes and types of cheese as the doors opened. Everyone didn't rush inside of the room like I expected them to. Everyone but me and Blake were calmly filing inside, family by family. I raced Blake to the dinner tables. Why my table was next to everyone else's, I don't know. I sat next to my little cousins since I was the oldest. That automatically meant that I had to watch them every day. I had to take them wherever they wanted to go. Perfect. My first cousin was a year younger than me though, so she wasn't that annoying. Her name is Anna. We look similar, only that she's less muscular and she has longer hair. She's also taller than me for some reason. That part, I didn't get. But other than that, we had the same black hair and same small brown eyes. We also had braces. She looked like she could be my sister. Then there were two other girls that were 12 years old. They're not even a part of my family. They were family friends. I wasn't complaining, I just didn't know why they were there. Anyway, their names were Rachel and Layla. Rachel was a ginger. Enough said. Layla was a blonde. Enough said. I had to walk these little assholes everywhere they wanted to go. I had to give them their menus, order after them, and get them whatever they wanted or I would get yelled at.

"Hey Adam." I turned around to see Blake with a fork up his nose. I just had to laugh hysterically at him. But I guess laughing in a fancy dining room is frowned upon in good society because we received glares from all directions. I turned around to civilize myself again and Blake blew the fork out of his nose and apologized to everyone. I shook my head then caught a glimpse of light pink out of the corner of my eye. I looked up at her and saw that she was being followed by an Asian lady, a black guy, and a little boy who looked similar to his older sibling. He had short black, curly hair and the same almond shaped eyes. I looked at Jules, smiling at her as she passed my table. She smiled at me briefly. She nodded to acknowledge me then she walked to the table next to me. There I was. Stuck in between my new friend and a new _friend_. As soon as dinner started, Blake and I were facing each other, chatting about random things that came to mind.

"I think that I'm gonna get some fried chicken or something." I snorted as we shared a menu.

"I don't like chicken. I think I'll get some gelato."

"Dude, that's a dessert." he looked appalled that I had suggested that.

"Real men eat dessert first, bro." I patted his shoulder as his face lit up.

"Hey, that's true. We're manly men." he pounded on the chair that he was sitting in.

"Hell yeah we are, bro!"

"Hey, do you play Zelda?" he asked quietly as my family began to order their food.

"Fuck yeah, man. Are you kidding me? Wait," I heard my name being called so I turned to face my family. A waiter with a pad and pen was staring me in the face. "Oh uh..." I whispered to Blake. "What do I want to eat?"

"Okay repeat after me. I would like-"

"I would like.."

"Chicken and-"

"Chicken and.."

"Frog legs."

"Frog legs- wait, what?" I turned to face Blake as he snickered behind me. The waiter nodded and walked away as I tried to grab his attention. I turned back to my family, flustered to say the least. I could see Jules at the other table watching me. She had her hand over her mouth as she did, laughing at my stupidity.

"Blake, what the hell!" I cursed at him quietly when I turned to face him again.

"I just figured that you would like frog legs, are you from the South?" he asked, smirking.

"No! Dude, I'm from California!" I whisper yelled at him but once I tried to yell at him again, my disgusting dinner had arrived. I looked at my plate, grimacing at the smell.

"Well you ordered it, Adam." my uncle stated under his breath. I nodded once and tore some meat off of the frog leg. I could sense that all eyes were on me, including Blake's and Jules'. I put a phony smile of my face and stuffed the food into my mouth. I chew slowly, almost gagging at the flavor of the amphibian. Jules looked at me with concern written all over her face. I shot her a reassuring smile then gagged again. I couldn't believe what I just did. I ate Toad's best friend. Perfect.

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**Leave me stuff!**

**- Starkid Jade**


	3. Sea Sick

**Hello fellow Workaholics fans! I'm glad to bring this new chapter to you guys! It took a while because I couldn't think of a proper way to introduce certain characters. But I did it! Thanks for all the reviews, favorites, and alerts! I really appreciate it! You guys are my motivation, remember that. Love you all.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Workaholics, Batman, the Hulk, or anything else I mention of that nature. Enjoy.**

**OH. This chapter is kinda disgusting so if you are grossed out easliy, don't read the second part! Thanks! :D**

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Day 2. Pool side. 11th floor. I found this a perfect opportunity to show off my newly tone pecks as I lay on a pool chair, watching my cousins splash around in the salt water wave pool. It made me laugh, you know. They were splashing each other and the water would burn their eyes. At first, it started out as an accident but they continued to do it. I guess they're really fighting now… Ha, I don't give a fuck. I pull my sunglasses off of the top of my head to shield my eyes from the sun's harmful rays. My body was already paying the price. I forgot to put sunscreen on before I left my cabin, even after my grandmother badgered me about it.

"We all burn easily, Adam. Make sure you put some sun screen on!" she would tell me in the most annoyingly squeaky voice ever. Like, how she spoke like that. I don't even know, bro. It was awful. How my dad didn't kill himself because he had to hear that every day. Wow.

"It's DeMamp!" I heard a familiar voice behind me so I turned to see my poofy-haired friend with two ice cream cones in his hand, rocking his Batman swimming trunks.

"Ohhh dude! Your shorts are pretty badass." Blake handed me an ice cream cone then took the chair beside me that I saved for… someone that wasn't him. I didn't mind that much. We could share a chair once they arrived.

"Thanks, bro! I see you're rocking the Hulk today, look at you!" I laughed at Blake before licking my ice cream.

"Yeah, don't get me angry." I said mockingly, pounding on my chest with my free hand. I forgot about my sunburn that quickly and let's just say… everyone knew that I had one. Blake laughed loudly as I screamed out in pain.

"Dude, your chest is like… as red as Hellboy's dick." Blake snorted as I laid down, taking a deep breath.

"Shut up…" I grumbled softly before I heard someone screaming. I sat up quickly to see Rachel and Layla splashing a guy who was about my age with the deadly salt water. I jumped up quickly and ran into the pool, pushing them away from him.

"What the fuck! Keep your sisters under control, man!" he spoke angrily as he towered over me, making me freeze up as I was about to reprimand the little devils.

"Hey, man. They're not my sisters, I'm just watching these little bastards. I'm sorry." I looked up at him before I realized something. _That guy with the weird chest from basketball? _ By the time that crossed my mind, Blake had jumped into the pool, getting salt water in everyone's eyes.

"Hey!" all of the girls, including Anna, squealed loudly as I was wiping my eyes. Blake was laughing as his hair was plastered to his forehead; his curly locks now wet and dangling from his head. I turned back to the guy, apologizing again. I guess he noticed how pissed off I was because he just nodded.

"Hey bro, were you playing basketball yesterday?" he nodded in response to my question.

"Yeah, why?" he raised a brow as he ran his fingers through his short, brown hair.

"Oh I… I just…" I dropped my gaze to his chest discreetly, trying not to laugh. _Oh my God, he has moobs._

"Oh my God, you have moobs!" Blake came up behind me and screamed that into my ear loudly, bursting into seemingly never ended laughter. The guy just looked at us with a confused expression on his face.

"What are moobs?" he asked before I started to laugh, nodding to Blake.

"Dude. What cup size are you?" I asked him before laughing extremely hard with Blake. I could hear the guy grunt abruptly.

"Hey, man. That's not funny." He crossed him arms across his chest, frowning deeply.

"Aw man, we're just kidding!" I patted his shoulder, shooting him a reassuring smile. He grinned a bit then looked down.

"Yeah, we all have our flaws. I mean, look at my hair." Blake pointed to his mop that was drenched in water.

"Look at how short I am. I don't think I'm ever growing." I shrugged at Blake and he nodded once. The guy nodded once and gave us a stern look.

"Well yeah. I don't know why I have," he cleared his throat then spoke softly. "I don't know why I have moobs. It's a heredity thing." He shrugged before laughing at himself. We shared the laugh with him before he spoke again. "I'm Anders, by the way."

"Andrew?" Blake asked absently.

"No, Anders."

"Aumber?" Anders began to glare at Blake.

"That's not even a word, what are you doing with your life?" I ask slowly, scratching my head.

"He could be like, a transsexual.." Blake muttered.

"What? What the hell are you talking about?" Anders was starting to become just as confused as I was.

"Transgender, I think you mean." I tried to defend him then Anders shook his head.

"You know, I'm a guy. And just call me Ders." He said flatly.

"Oh, okay Ders." We nodded in unison as I spoke those words.

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"So, where ya from?" Blake, Ders, and I had found an empty booth inside of the dining room that served as the breakfast and lunch room. It was bustling, as usual, with soaking wet children from the pools and old people. Lots of old people. So many wrinkles. Gross, old people that stared at you funny when you walked out of the pool. Seriously. They will sit there with cigars in their mouths; women included, and watch you as you walk out of the pool with this smug look on their face.

"California." Ders' voice shook me out of my horrifying thoughts.

"Oh, so are we!" Blake's arm was around my shoulders now and he was tugging me closer to him, making me feel more uneasy than I already was. The boat was starting to rock more and more as the day went on. I knew I wasn't the only one who felt it. Ders was turning green.

"You okay, man?" I asked quietly as a wave of nausea hit me with full force.

"No, it feels like I'm going to-" right as he spoke, a little kid ran past us and threw up right next to our table. We all screamed as loud as we could.

"Oh my God, that's disgusting!" those words were spoken before Ders started to blow chunks right on the table. Blake and I screamed and got up quickly.

"Ugh! Call an ambulance!" Ders screamed as he bent over in pain in the booth.

"We can't use our phones, dumb-" before I knew it, I was joining this vomiting fit, getting puke all over Blake's shoe. The little kid was still standing there and he screamed as I threw up, dodging the chunks that ricocheted off of the floor.

"Oh sweet Jesus!" Blake kicked his shoes off and stepped right in a pile of vomit left by the kid. He was silent for a minute; shaking in the pile of waste. He then began to freak out and run out of the dining hall, leaving me, Ders, and the kid. We all looked at each other for a second, then I realized that this was the most awkward moment of my life. Ever.

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It was dinner time by the time I got back to my cabin. My grandmother saw me and Ders walking out of the dining hall, covered in vomit, and she ordered both of us to go clean up and lay down. She didn't even know Ders but she acted like she did. His cabin was on the 5th floor but I remembered that I had a spare bed in my room, and I invited him to lay down in there with me. I was usually lonely anyway. I could have someone to talk to. Anna usually spent her time in my cabin so she skipped dinner with us. I was on a bed, Ders was on a bed, and Anna was sitting on the desk in the room.

"So, how do you two know each other?" Anna broke the silence as we watched television. I glanced over to the other bed as Ders began to speak.

"You were at the pool. I remember seeing you. After you guys left, me, Adam, and Blake went into the dining hall and started talking."

"So you guys just randomly started talking?" Anna's head cocked to the side. I nodded before speaking.

"Yeah, that's what friendly people do." I raised a brow when I responded. Her innocent expression turned into a scowl immediately before she threw the cruise magazine at me. Ders laughed quietly and I glared at him.

"You should've joined us. You would've gotten vomit on you." Ders teased Anna, making her giggle. My face scrunched up in disgust. Girls. Wait, speaking of girls… Jules. I hadn't seen her all day. I blocked Ders and Anna's conversation out of my mind as I thought about her. She was probably looking for me at dinner. The time on the clock in our room said 9:07pm. Dinner was basically over now. I huffed quietly before there was a knock on the door. Anna excused herself and opened the door to reveal the girl that cluttered my thoughts. Tonight, her hair was pulled back in a curly ponytail, she wore a Legend of Zelda shirt with the triforce on it, dark skinny jeans, and black vans sneakers. She looked… amazing. It was all of my fantasies in one! Pretty girl, sneakers, and video games. Her bright smile lit up the room as she stepped inside.

"Adam! Are you feeling okay?" she kneeled beside the bed, placing a hand on my forehead. I raised my eyebrows in shock and stayed silent for a few seconds.

"Yeah, I'm fine now. How did you-"

"Your grandmother and Blake told me what happened." She cut me off just like that.

"You know Blake?" I asked absently and she nodded in response. I heard Ders clear his throat before I shot him a "fuck off" look. Jules followed my gaze and smiled at Ders softly.

"Hi, I'm Jules. I'm a friend of Adam's. And you are?" she extended a friendly hand as Ders followed suit, shaking her hand once.

"I'm Anders. I am also a friend of Adam's." I waited for her reaction to his name, biting my lip to hide a smile.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Anders." My lips fell into a hard line as she pronounced his name flawlessly. _Was it that easy or is Blake just stupid?_ I thought to myself. I think he's just stupid. "Oh, I should get going. I'll see you guys tomorrow. It was nice to meet you Anna and Anders." She spoke swiftly as she twirled around to leave the room. She went to go leave but she turned to face me, making me jump a bit. She walked on her toes back over to me and pressed her sweet lips against my forehead. Right then, my heart exploded in my chest, sending all of my blood rushing up to my cheeks. She giggled before leaving the room. We sat there in silence for a moment after she left.

"Well. She seems nice." Ders spoke quietly as Anna made her way over to his bed. I nodded once and thought to myself, _Yup. I'm so in there._

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**Leave me stuff, y'all! Until next time.**

**- Starkid Jade**


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